The Burger Joint at the End of the Multiverse
by Hawki
Summary: Into the Spider-Verse Oneshot: After travelling across dimensions, first order of business is to get a burger. And fries. Don't forget the fries.


**The Burger Joint at the End of the Multiverse**

"So…" said Miles Morales.

"So…" said Gwendolyn Stacy.

"Your, um…"

"Yes?"

"Your…universe is nice."

"Um…thanks?"

"Yeah. Like, it's neon. And, um, bright. And…"

"Usually is round this time of evening."

"And NYPD instead of PDNY. Like, totally crazy huh?"

"Yep," Gwen said, pushing her burger towards the centre of the table. "Crazy."

Miles didn't say anything. He was going to joke that the fries in this dimension tasted better than the fires of his own dimension. Of course, that wasn't really indicative of anything. Like, did fries taste better in this dimension because of some inherent property? Did they taste better becomes of his own atomic composition affecting his sense of taste? Was the New York of this dimension better at making fries than his own? Or was it simply down to the restaurant? Like, if he got fries at a place called Burger Town in his dimension, and got fries at a place called Lord of the Fries in this dimension, was the fact that LotF was better down to some kind of universal variable, or that LotF was better than Burger Town? Or, come to think about it, was it just because Burger Town was-

"Miles?"

"Hmm?"

"Say something."

"Oh, er…" He ate some fries. "These are nice?"

"Yeah, that's not saying something, that's saying anything."

"There's a difference?" he asked, in-between mouthfuls of the chips.

Gwen folded her arms, frowning. "Yeah. A lot."

"Oh." He pushed the plate over to Gwen. "Want some?"

She made a sound that made it quite clear that she didn't. A kind of "argh" or "ugh" or "gah." Like a bear sick of being poked. Course this bear could kick him ten ways to Tuesday if it came to that, not to mention being able to break through the bars, so…

"Y'know," Miles said, as he held a fry up in front of him before breaking it in two. "I didn't have to come."

Gwen looked up at him. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah." He put one half of the fry into his mouth, taking his time to chew it. "Like, there I am, minding my business, listening to music-"

"You call that music?"

"Then some kind of portal appears up above me, with you saying you needed my help." He swallowed the half of the fry, and then started on the other one. "So, being the one and only Spider-Man-"

"Excuse me?"

"Of my dimension," he said as he started to chew, "I figure hey, why not? If Gwen needs my help, I figure, may as well hop across."

"Yeah, you did," she said. "And what happened then?"

"Um…" He swallowed the fry. For something that had happened only thirty minutes ago, he was finding it hard to remember.

"You said that you were hungry, and I said, hey, sure."

"Oh yeah, that's right."

"I also said that you could eat and I could talk, so we could get up to speed as fast as possible."

"Sounds about right."

"And then you insist on ordering for both of us, and then start talking about life, the multiverse, and everything."

"Universe."

Gwen blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Universe." Miles took a slurp from his shake. "Not multiverse, universe."

"You've talked about your universe, and you've talked about my universe. That makes it a multiverse."

"Um…"

"And it's also called a joke."

"I…"

"Which would you know all about of course."

"I…guess?"

Gwen sighed. "I get to laugh at your lame jokes, least you could do is laugh at mine."

"Oh." He paused for a minute. Well, technically only a few seconds, but it felt like a minute. His spider sense could sometimes make time feel like it was passing slower when he was in danger, and for some reason, time was passing really…really…really…really…

"Shake's nice," Miles said. "Think it's strawberry."

Gwen buried her face in her hands. "Bloody hell…"

"Gwen?"

"Why are you here?" she groaned.

"Um, I stepped through a portal and-"

"Not _how_ , dumbass, _why_ ," she snapped, looking up at him. "We've spent thirty minutes talking about everything there is to talk about except why you're actually here, and…" She stopped short, before taking a bite of her own burger.

"Gwen?"

"Gimamomant."

"Excuse me?"

"Moremant!"

"Um…"

She pointed at her mouth.

"Oh."

Maybe she was hungrier than she'd let on, Miles reflected. Maybe…maybe he should just be quiet and not put his foot in his mouth. Like, he was used to putting feet in bad guys' mouths, when he'd swung around with a flying kick and knocked them out, sometimes breaking a few of their teeth in the process. Part of being a hero and all that.

Still, right now he was wearing his regular clothes, as was Gwen. Watching her eat the burger and fries, it suddenly dawned on him that this was the first time he'd seen her wearing anything other than her Spider-Woman outfit, or the Brooklyn Visions uniform. Come to think of it, he wasn't sure how she got that uniform in the first place, or how she'd even managed to enrol, but…

"Oh boy," Gwen said, lying back in her seat, the remains of burger on her plate before her. "I really needed that."

But right now she was wearing regular clothes. Like, a bit…rocky, he thought? White tracksuit, black jeans…same colours as her spider suit, but a completely different essence and tone. Not that he was any kind of expert on fashion…

"Miles?"

Or girls, he reflected. Like, everyone wore the same thing at Visions, so he wasn't really sure what girls wore in their own time, or got up to on their own time-

"Miles?"

They did wear makeup though. Gwen wasn't. Which was fine. He couldn't actually imagine her in makeup. Like, he got that makeup was meant to make girls look prettier or something, but it wasn't as if Gwen needed-

"Miles!" She slapped him over the head.

"Ow!" He rubbed it. "What?"

"You."

"Me?"

"You," she said. "You're staring at me like Cyclops before doing a full blast."

"…who?"

"Oh, you don't get mutants in your dimension? Huh."

"What's a…" He saw that Gwen was looking at him funny. There weren't any chips left, and he only had enough of his milkshake for one slurp, but-

"Oh hey, your hair's back to normal."

She blinked. "What?"

"Yeah, your hair. You've grown the other half back."

"Oh, this." She gave it a tug. "You mean the half you forced me to cut off?"

"Hey, in my defence, I-"

"Yeah yeah, new powers," she said, avoiding his gaze. "Truth be told, the guys in my band liked the new look, but…I dunno, wasn't me."

"Oh," Miles said. "It…well, it looks nice on you."

She looked up at him. "You think?"

"Yeah. I mean, not that it wasn't nice before…I mean, did cause it, and I'm sure cutting it wasn't what you wanted to do, but you did it, and it looked nice, but, hey, looks nicer now, maybe, and, hey, up to you how you wear your hair, and not that I have any right to tell you about hair, but hey, opinions and…" He finished his milkshake. "Yep. Your dimension's definitely got better milkshakes."

She folded her arms. "Glad to hear it," she said slowly.

"Yeah." He looked around the table for something else to eat or drink. Apart from salt and pepper however, he wasn't getting much luck. Not unless he was about to start eating the table, and unlike the Woodchucker, that wasn't really a viable option.

"Anyway," Gwen said. "Much as I'd like to talk about hair and stuff-"

"You would?" Miles burst out, sounding more eager than he intended.

"…I think we should get to why we're actually here." She reached into her backpack and picked out a trio of pictures. "Usually I can take these guys on my own, but this one…" She dropped the pictures on the table, and Miles stared.

If he didn't know better, he was looking at a vampire.

"Goes by the name of Morbius," Gwen said. "Any ideas?"

Right now, he had a thousand ideas. But not about vampires. Rather, about something else.

Or someone else.


End file.
